Almost everyone reading this has, at some time in his or her lives, donned a role.  It may have when acting in a class play, playing shopkeeper as a three year old or trying to pass for whatever the drinking age was, but assuming the qualities of another is part of life’s experience.  Well, at least part of a childhood experience.  It seems that as we age, we are more reluctant to assume another identity even for fun.

We somehow get fixed into what we consider our being.  And there in lies the rub!  The truth is that you can change on a dime if you want to.  What you are in only limited by your imagination.

Recently I have altered my role as mother.  My son turns 40 this December and my belief that I am the same mother that incubated him for over 9 months should cease to exist.  True, through play and verbal transmissions I inculcated, beliefs, morals and values.  But, in the end were those moments of disengagement, when, for example, I watched the back of his head drive off in a car, or when he slipped the ring on his wife’s finger, my role as what existed as mother terminated.

It is important that I reinvent the relationship or role that I play in his life.  Can I be a valued, wise adult?  Whatever the definition is,  is less important than the fact that this role must be redefine .

Every permutation has its finale.  Whatever is surely will not be.  Don’t let yourself be limited by antiquated beliefs, wishes or be swamped by truths so inflated with immutable molecules that like the carbon we call self , it will die ignorant of the fact that it needed to change so that what is left behind is a valuable part for the living.

I have spent the last nine weeks being hooked up to a main line feeding frenzy.  I have been advised, coached, informed and enlightened by a myriad of sparkling experts.

I have, in the moment  been a washed in epiphanies that crystalize a frozen awareness that when distanced, melts and flows away like lava running from an earthquake.

This is not bad.  Moments of clarity are important, depth in understanding offer reference to beliefs.  My belief is rooted in only the coalescence of thinking patterns that may or may not be rooted in “facts.”

But then again aren’t facts unencumbered by beliefs, desires and reconstructions?  They are not possible as an exist strategy of the human mind/awareness.  They are only possible when devoid of context and conception.

Thus, to listen to the exit strategies of those with a devotion and erudition of a topic, help me spice the mix that inhabits the process of decision making.

For this opportunity I am ever grateful to Chautauqua Institute..  I urge you to include his experience in your life.

Keith Olbermann is right.  Our system can now be purchased for self interest.  Watch this: http://youtu.be/ndkRgj6j-Pg

I am not one to quote the Bible but the phrase “the borrower becomes the lender’s slave stood out amount the few Bible quotes on debt when perusing the Internet for quotes on debt.

Debt is a four letter word that I have steered clear of.  In fact, $345.00 was the grandest mortgage debt I ever incurred, and it was paid it off before the end of the contract.  I’m the sort who saves and then purchases.

The debt crisis has illuminated my countries position as the Bible posits.  The United States is slave of those from whom we borrow.  While the stipulations are not spelled out contractually, it is perfectly clear that you don’t ask your creditor to alter human rights policies, forgo acquisitions like Drones or refrain from illegal acquisitions.  In other words the mortgage holder has powers over you that well exceed the monetary sum.

By raising our debt ceiling are we sealing our fate and rendering our country impotent to hold high those standards we claim as dear?

 I had the most unusual experience his past week.  I watched a movie I had seen, and started again a book I had read.  In both cases, I forgot the titles, but only after five or ten minutes I realized I had seen or read this work of art.  In both cases I forgot what happened save for a vague recollection as both progressed.  However, I learned a valuable lesson.

We read or watch for the first time to discover what will happen but the second time around, we can savor the language, relationships and the human conditions explored.  The second time around gives us time to pause, sort of like visiting a great city for the second time.  Number two holds the promise of rediscovering, deepening and letting go of the impatience of discovery that accompanies first time.  Like one’s first love the second one has the benefit of us experiencing it in another way.

My mother always told my sister and I to say a word three times and that word will become ours.  I don’t know if that is quite right with books and movies, but maybe I’ll try.

By the way the movie was “Left Luggage” and the book, “The History of Love”

“Nancilee” Carol yelled to my back as I left the Hall of Philosophy following Eric Larsen’s talk about his new book “In the Garden of Beasts”.

Swiveling around, I faced my diminutive friend of several summers here at Chautauqua Institute.

“Wanna go sailing with the girls at 3 PM?”

Without a moment’s hesitation, despite my complete lack of knowledge of sailing, I rejoined, “You bet!.  Where?”

Details exchanged I returned home to prepare for my first sailing experience.

Chautauqua Lake is not small.  In fact, when I watched my grandson Dylan hot air balloon over the length of the lake it took about an hour for the balloon to traverse  lake’s length.  So I packed up my bravery, threw my worst sunglasses on as a hair ornament and pedaled down to the dock.

Carol and I were joined by one other women who I was assured was a veteran sailor.  So I threw caution to the wind and jumped from the dock into the sailboat, let the girls put the sail up, the center board down and god knows what with the jib and we were off.

Getting to the middle of the lake on this white capped day was easy.  Only when I was instructed to duck through our “come about” did the truth emerge.  My captain and crew could not get the boat to turn.  In fact, after each attempt where we let the main sail loose, after we drew it back to turn, we discovered the buildings on the shore were sharply smaller.

All’s well that ends well. And after we rolled the sail down, stood on the deck with arms akimbo in a YMCA pose, did a kindly motor boater stop, throw a line out to us and tow us in.

I guess the moral of this story is that it’s easy to take risks but harder to recover from them.

The more we stratify the less we care.

Why is Snapple the drink of NYC?  Why is Pepsi the drink of San Francisco?  Because,we have allowed the marketplace to infiltrate our governance.  The gap between those that have and those that are fighting to not have is wider than the sky.

We are Rome and we are in the midst of our demise.  Until we shift the privilege of influence away from the realm of money and settle it into the realm of moral discourse, only then can we begin to allow like cream to ascend to the helm of our existence.

In many dictionaries, one definition of temptation is being allured especially to evil.   If malevolent is a possibility then it can be selected.  If you have ever dieted then you know not to stock the freezer with ice cream.  If a poor choice can be made, then it is better to eliminate that choice.

Recently I was listening to scientists speak about black holes., a place in the universe that attracts everything around it.  Attract, I mused, was an interesting word for scientists to use, since attract means a bit of seduction, a bit of hype and a bit of hard to ignore.  This got me to thinking about the black holes we create in our homes, those seducers of our energy and activities.

We too create spaces that draw us in as if by suction to its message.  That message is either supportive or not depending upon the person.  A refrigerator to a bulimic is an enemy while to a cook nurturer of a family, a tool for supporting.  Whether we are aware of this or not, we are either attracted or repelled by spaces and understanding which they are and how we view them is an important nuance in shaping our homes.

What are your black holes?  By answering these questions you might be able to sort this out.

1. Where do you go mostly when you return home?
2. When it’s time to relax, where do you go?
3. Where to you tend to go to when you have nothing to do?
4. Do you use the same space to spend time in as the one you take company too when they visit?
5. What space in your home do you use most infrequently?
6. If you wanted to hide where would you go?

Analyzing the results.

Questions 1-3 are designed to highlight places that attract you.  This attraction could be positive or challenging.  It is up to you to decide which category this location falls into.

Questions 4-6 are designed to reveal places that are out of your pattern of use, and it is for you to determine whether this is positive or challenging.

Naturally, any one-assessment test cannot be interpreted without the full guidance of a professional.  Should you want to discuss this, let me know since I will be having a free teleconference call on this subject later this summer.  Email me at Nancileewydra@yahoo.com to get on the free call list.

Why shouldn’t a home encourage you to be active?  I don’t mean building a gym or having a treadmill in your gathering space.  No, the active I am speaking of is the activity of engagement.  What engages you in your home?

When you walk into each room, what is there for you to do?  Rooms like the kitchen are engagers.  And unfortunately, some family rooms have only the TV as the central engagement activity.

If you agree with me that most of our contentment comes from interactions, then spaces that help one interact be it with other people or undertakings are paramount in helping humans maximize contentment and potential. Our minds and bodies are meant to be used.   Without stimulation, creativity can be wrenching. I had a friend who used to love just to walk through a hardware store.  Projects would float through his head like visions of sugar plum fairies just by looking at the countless parts of stuff ready to become something.

Look at each room in your home and ask yourself, what is this room inviting me to do?  Then decide if that augments or detracts from offering you a life of fulfillment?